By Johnny Dallas

Investigative Reporter

The world of politics is a grand place for fellow-minded souls to get together and work for the good of their constituents. Wait, no. That doesn’t sound right, especially in Stillwater lately. For those of you who use Stillwater Scene as your only local news source, which sometimes I can’t blame you after checking out our alternatives, let me catch you up briefly on what is happening within the Stillwater City Counsel.

Sometime around late November or early December, a recall petition was started against Stillwater’s Mayor, Nathan Bates, accusing him of such things as using his office for personal and financial gain, interfering with police officers, several instances of public intoxication and asking a woman to expose herself. This petition was later filed by a group calling themselves Concerned Citizens of Stillwater with the City Clerk’s office with more than 100 signatures -- the minimum requirement to officially file a recall petition -- and documentation including police reports involving a house party and a confrontation between two groups at Lake Carl Blackwell. After weeks of subterfuge, the first petition was, ironically, recalled by the same person that filed it, Becky Teague, a local real estate agent and member of Stillwater’s Planning Commission. Teague has said she didn’t write the petition and was “asked” to deliver it, but won’t divulge who asked her to do so.

Before citizens of Stillwater could say, “Thank God that’s over,” another recall petition was started to pick up where Teague left off. This petition, which includes nearly identical reasons for recall, was started and circulated, very publicly, by City Councilor Darrell Dougherty. Dougherty has also, very publicly, asked Mayor Bates to resign during a well-planned statement made during a City Council Meeting. Dougherty said, at this meeting, that he was trying to save Mayor Bates from the difficulties that he would face during and after a recall election. This second petition was filed on January 8, 2010, with the City Clerk’s office.

Now a third recall petition has been started and is circulating to get signatures of registered Stillwater voters. This petition is for the recall of Councilor Dougherty for the reasons of public intoxication and gross partiality in office. This petition was started and circulated by Jim Trent, the owner of Alternate Realities, 205 South Main, a role-playing game store. Trent also served as campaign manager for Mayor Bates, but the Mayor denies any knowledge of Trent’s intentions of starting a petition of his own. Trent has said he saw “no other course than to fight fire with fire” and hopes to file the petition with the City Clerk’s office in late January or early February. Trent has also said, in the interest of all that is good for the city, he will withdraw his petiton if Councilor Dougherty withdraws his. Councilor Dougherty has even gone so far to say, “If a set of 100 signatures [are on the petition against him] of people I respected as much as those who signed the petitions against Bates, I would step down.” He says that’s not the case with the petition against himself, which also raises specualtion about whether or not he feels every vote counts or just a few, special votes matter in our good city.

After watching and reading about all of this hullabaloo, I have come up with several ways to resolve this situation and maybe this will let the elected representatives of this fine city move forward and work for the progression of Stillwater instead of sitting in a quagmire of resistance against each other.

In celebration of the Winter Olympics which are right around the corner, maybe we could hold a sporting competition similar to a decathalon where Mayor Bates and Councilor Dougherty face off in a series of challenges. Maybe the Chamber of Commerce could bring the ice rink back for a skating challenge. They could race around Boomer Lake on foot, bikes and then, perhaps, a quick swim through the lake. The city could sell tickets and make a bundle from observers and people could even have signs in support of their favorite competitor. The loser would then agree to resign from the City Council.

The city could also sponsor a Dunk Tank night where two dunk tanks are set side by side -- one with Mayor Bates and the other with Councilor Dougherty. People could pay $1 for three throws, just like at the carnival. The clowns, I mean, “dunkees” could spout harassing comments at the crowd trying to get them to take a chance and throw. It may even be a good idea to get Budweiser or another beer company to fill the tanks with beer since it seems like both of them like a little bit of the drinky-drinky, according to their accusers. The city, again, could make a few bucks from those wishing to take a throw and sponsorships and the one who gets dunked more resigns from the City Council.

The Academy Awards are coming up too. Each of them could make picks of who they think will win, kind of like Jared and Kimberly have done in the past, and the one who picks the most correctly gets to stay on the City Council. The city could have an Oscar watch party somewhere with a tally board counting points for Mayor Bates and Councilor Dougherty as the night goes on. That could almost be like a gala event.

My favorite idea is to let them just fight it out in the ring. Maybe host a UFC-style fight at Gallagher-Iba Arena and put the two of them in the middle of the octogon. In this corner, sponsored by Boyer’s 66, Darrell “Knuckles” Dougherty! And in this corner, sponsored by Dr. Sidney Williams, Nathan “Checkmate” Bates! Tickets for this event would go through the roof and both the city and Oklahoma State University would have the opportunity to work together on something -- a viable campaign platform for both Mayor Bates and Councilor Dougherty when they were just candidates.

Finally, Dougherty could just withdraw his petition against Bates after which Trent would withdraw his petition against Dougherty. The two parties could sit down and talk, agree to disagree at times, and we could just move forward. Of course, this would not be as fun to watch and the city couldn’t charge an admission but it would be the most beneficial and benevolent act that has occurred in this city’s government in a very long time. This is probably not the first time that one Councilor has had a problem with another and it won’t be the last, either, but being concerned citizens, they should be able to see past their differences and still fight for the benefit of Stillwater as a whole and not cater to just their specific campaign donors and drinking buddies. Frankly, I’m still hoping for the UFC fight but I enjoy the fine art of pugilism.

This is just one man’s opinion and ideas and I respect both of them for wanting to be on our City Council and subsequently winning their seat. I recommend that some of you follow this developing story in the O’Colly, NewsPress and check out www.stillwateronlineforum.com. There are several people on there kindling the fires of discussion about this and several other local topics. Since this is an entertainment magazine, I always look for the entertainment value of crazy stuff that happens in Stillwater. Personally, if I see either Mayor Bates or Councilor Dougherty out and about, I will offer to buy both of them a beer. Not to encourage giving them free goods just because they are in an office of esteem, but maybe to hold a beer summit like our President. Until next time, only you can call me Johnny Dallas!